Learning to open up: Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Reviewed

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Min Seo Park

Before reading Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I thought it would be

like every other young adult romance book that’s not that memorable because of its

predictable content. But this book left me with lessons about friendship and, obviously love,

unusual lessons which you normally don’t find in other romance books, so this book may be “life-changing” to those who want to find their identity and show their true selves to others.

The Perks.. was written in the form of letters from the main character, Charlie, to an unknown

person (which may possibly be us readers). This book starts by showing how Charlie began

to open up in his first sophomore year. When he attended his high school’s football game

and searched for a seat, he spoke to himself s, aying, "Now, normally I am very shy, but

Nothing seemed like the kind of guy you could just walk up to at a football game even though

you were three years younger and not popular." That was the first step he took to become

friends with Patrick ("Nothing") and Sam.

After some days, Charlie went with his two friends to his first real high school party, in

which Patrick introduces Charlie as a wallflower to other people as a "welcoming intention"

because Patrick knows what type of person is Charlie and what he thinks. Right after that,

Patrick tells him, "You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand." At that

moment, Charlie was grateful and happy because he felt special and known by others.

Because of that, Charlie started going to many parties, where he met a girl named Mary

Elizabeth. He thought she liked him so he tried to work things out with her. But he only asked

her questions and listened to her, without having a real conversation. After some time, they

just decided to be friends, and Charlie told Sam about it. She pointed out what he should

focus on from now on by telling him, "Charlie, I also told you not to tell Mary Elizabeth she

was pretty. And to ask her a lot of questions and not interrupt her. Now she's with a guy who

does the exact opposite. And it works because that's who Peter really is. He's being himself.

And he does things." This quote made me think if I was having true friendships or just pretending to be friends with people because I wasn’t being myself. Therefore, I think that this would be a noteworthy quote for people who doubt their current relationships.

Then, Sam advises Charlie to be honest about his feelings by saying, “You can't just sit

there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't.

You have to do things.” Basically, Sam tells him that sometimes it's necessary to consider

his feelings and needs first, which is a very important thing to take in mind when you’re struggling to open up.

This is also seen in another chapter of the book, when Charlie’s English teacher, Bill, told

him that it's incorrect that "sometimes people use thought to not participate in life" which he

continues saying, "Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve." These two quotes were

the most memorable for me because it's true that we may be living more in our thoughts than

we do in real life.

Most people tend to struggle with things like anxiety, low self-esteem, and trust issues. This

book may help you handle those kinds of situations with great confidence and calmness with

all its unforgettable quotes that will end up like footprints in your heart. Lastly, this book

ends with a comforting quote: "I hope you have a very nice life because I really think

you deserve it."